RPTM Podcast Episode Seventy Three: Sail Far, Steal Stuff, Blame God

Episode #073: Sail Far, Steal Stuff, Blame God
​08/10/2025

This week on The RPTM Podcast, we’re tearing through the 1500s like a hungover conquistador on a stolen horse. First stop: 1528, where Al Zammouri—Moroccan hustler, survivor, maybe the only man to cross half a continent to find more continent—staggers onto the stage after shipwrecks, slavery, and the kind of road trip that makes you question the very concept of “adventure.” Then it’s back to 1519, where Hernán Cortés shows up in Mexico with a smile, some guns, and a moral compass set permanently to “plunder.” What follows is part military campaign, part fever dream, part apocalypse—depending on which side of the sword you’re on.

We’ll then rocket to 1565, where the Spanish plant St. Augustine in Florida—a fortified beach party that primarily exists to tell France, “This is ours, go colonize your swamp.” By 1587, Luzonians from the Philippines sailed into California, proving the Pacific wasn’t just Spain’s backyard swimming pool. And finally, 1608, Quebec: the French arrive with fur-trade ambitions, Catholic guilt, and the kind of naïve optimism that dies somewhere around the third frostbite. It’s a century of madmen, dreamers, pirates in all but name, and entire empires rolling dice with other people’s lives. Strap in—the roulette wheel of history is spinning, and the house always wins.

CHAPTERS:

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:52 Introduction
• 8:15 1528 - Al Zammouri
• 11:33 1608 - French Colonization (Part One)
• 17:33 1519 - Hernan Cortes
• 22:32 1565 - St. Augustine
• 26:02 1587 - Luzonians
• 30:25 Outro

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Hosts:
Ryan Lancaster
ARCHIE
HILDY

Producer: Ryan Lancaster
Executive Producer: Ryan Lancaster
Sound Engineer: Ryan Lancaster
Editor: Ryan Lancaster
Theme Music Composer: Craig Riley
Artwork Design: Ryan Lancaster
Recorded at: Ryan Lancaster Studios

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​Hey, welcome to the work cited section! Here's where you'll find all the heavy hitters that inspired the content you've just consumed. Some might think citations are as dull as unbuttered toast, but nothing gets my intellectual juices flowing like a good reference list. Don't get me wrong, just because we've cited a source; doesn't mean we're always going to see eye-to-eye. But that's the beauty of it - it's up to you to chew on the material and come to conclusions. Listen, we've gone to great lengths to ensure these citations are accurate, but let's face it, we're all human. So, give us a holler if you notice any mistakes or suggest more sources. We're always looking to up our game. Ultimately, it's all about pursuing knowledge and truth. ​
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• Bauer, William J., Jr. California through Native Eyes: Reclaiming History. Indigenous Confluences Series. Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2016.
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• Katz, William Loren. Black Indians: A Hidden Heritage. 1st ed. New York: Atheneum, 1986.
• Mann, Charles C. 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus. New York: Vintage Books, 2006.
• Preston, Diana, and Michael Preston. A Pirate of Exquisite Mind: The Life of William Dampier: Explorer, Naturalist, and Buccaneer. New York: Penguin Publishing Group, 2005.
• Pritchard, James. In Search of Empire: The French in the Americas, 1670-1730. 1st ed. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2003.
• Reséndez, Andrés. Conquering the Pacific: An Unknown Mariner and the Final Great Voyage of the Age of Discovery. Boston: Mariner Books, 2021.
• Reséndez, Andrés. Land So Strange: The Epic Journey of Cabeza de Vaca. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009.
• Seijas, Tatiana. Asian Slaves in Colonial Mexico: From Chinos to Indians. Reprint ed. Cambridge Latin American Studies, Series Number 100. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2015.
• Stanley, George Francis Gilman. New France: The Last Phase, 1744-1760. The Canadian Centenary. Toronto: McClelland and Stewart, 1968.
• Thomas, Hugh. Conquest: Cortes, Montezuma, and the Fall of Old Mexico. Illustrated edition. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1995.
• Varner, John, and Jeannette Varner, trans. The Florida of the Inca: The Fabulous De Soto Story. By Garcilaso de la Vega. Austin: The University of Texas Press, 1962.
• Weatherford, Jack. Indian Givers: How the Indians of the Americas Transformed the World. New York: Ballantine Books, 1989.​

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